Don’t split hairs with me.
Your assumption that Guido Barilla’s statement about keeping his pasta for the “traditional family” is fine because he doesn’t specifically say that he doesn’t support marriage equality, is totally ridiculous and yes, you are indeed splitting hairs.
The reality is discrimination is an all or nothing issue. It doesn’t work to say that some homophobia is okay but some is not. Would you make a similarly hypocritical statement about women or folks of a different color? Statements about women being bad drivers are okay because it’s funny, or true, or however you want to spin it. BUT statements about women not being allowed to drive are definitely sexist and WRONG. Um, no.
Your cover is blown. When you throw in the red herring of “free speech” (used by such scumbags as those in the $13 billion porn industry, no less) and “he didn’t go _____ but if he did I would definitely be on your side,” I see you for who you truly are: a homophobic bigot. Or a racist asshole. Or a sexist pig. And I’m willing to say so. May others join me in calling people out on their shit instead of letting them shovel their half-baked drivel at us under the guise of being an ally.
I think that part of the problem is that some of us (yes, I’m looking at you Mr. White Male and yes, also you too Ms. White Lady) have a conflict supporting the all or nothingness of discrimination. The conflict stems from the fact that you want to support a movement against discrimination (because it’s cool, you feel that it’s the “right” thing or because you’re a sociopath) but you can’t because parts of it cut a little too close. Meaning, you’d need to re-think your own behavior and your own words. So, you support some pieces, clinging to the “free speech” mantra as gun advocates cling to the 2nd amendment.
If I sound angry, it’s because I am. I’ve developed a no-tolerance rule for people who claim to support something but when it comes right down to it, they can’t put their money where their big Facebook mouth is. You don’t get to pick and choose which arguments or situations work for you. You either are an ally or you’re not. The time to own that is now. If not for your own sense of personal integrity, then for the sake of those fighting the good fight. Because your hypocrytical words hurt more than all the self-righteousness of the other side. And they (your “friends”) deserve better than that.